Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

The first swim of the year in our pool! You won't catch me in there for about another month.
These pics were actually taken about 2 weeks ago. The first "swim" of the year. Luke was in for a very short time and as you can see got quite cold.

Mason did not get in. He would have sunk straight to the bottom because he doesn't know how to swim and he weighs 35 lbs at 1 1/2- thats 21 months for you month counters.

Lizards and Lips

I originally started this "blog" to use it as a digital scrapbook for my boys. I thought it would be a great way for them to see some of our outings, how crazy their parents were, how completely over-the-top their mom is, etc. Now, I think I am using the blog more as therapy for myself. Whatever, it works, I'll take it. I titled the blog Adventures With Boys. We have had plenty of adventures good and bad but I think we have barely touched the surface with what will happen with these boys. For example, my day today.

Sunday morning, laundry started, clean sheets on the beds, scrambled eggs for breakfast, Mason slept til 7 (this is late people), Luke woke up without a leaky diaper and no bloody nose (allergies), its 70 degrees outside, and I am sitting on the back patio by the pool talking to my mom-imagine that! Yes, the GG and I are known to have fabulous communication. It's only because I have 100% morphed into my mother. I take this as a compliment, except my derier is still larger than hers but my stomach is flatter than hers. Anyways, who cares.

So I'm sitting on the back patio talking to mom about politics, stock market, housing trends, etc. You know, the usual. Nelli comes up and has something in her mouth. I slowly just glance at her and start screaming, now I am screaming and running. Mason is wandering outside somewhere with screwdrivers in his hand trying to "fix" stuff and comes running up. Yes, running with screwdrivers-OH MY! I'm learning to pick my battles. Ben and Luke are inside watching "How It's Made" on the Discovery Channel (I'm pretty sure Ben was learning more than Luke because Luke probably already understands how stuff is made-sorry honey). So, why am I screaming? Nelli has a dead lizard in her mouth. Where does she take it? Right inside the back door. It's 70 outside so every door in our house is open. I run to the side of the house like the lizard is going to get up and chase me and now my mom and I are both just screaming to each other on the phone. I now hear all 3 of my boys laughing. Then Ben and Luke yell "Mommy, did Nelli eat the head?" My mom heard what they asked and once again we are both just screaming into the phone. Quite an intellectual converesation. I'm jumping around, screaming, and hiding from... I'm not quite sure. All I can think about is how Nelli is going to puke up a lizard head in the middle of the night. I can't put her in her kennel because she has such anxiety and will "shit" all over her kennel, so looks like I will be finding a lizard head. (The dog needs some Prozac, maybe she can share with me). Hopefully I don't step on it when I stagger into the bathroom in the middle of the night. So, what's the big deal, its only a lizard? I can watch lizards, chase lizards with the boys, poke (little) lizards, etc. but when it comes to dead lizards in my dogs mouth, in my house, without a head.......see ya latah. I just say to my mom, I have 2 boys, really 3, and it is my right as a mother of 2 boys and only 2 boys to NEVER have to deal with this kind of instance. Yes, I realize I am inserting my foot in my mouth because there will be a time when Ben is gone and the boys pull pranks on dear old mommy. By the way, I can deal with birds flying into our fireplace and then into our house and having to "shoo" them out. White girl can't jump though and those birds are pretty fast.

Now I will move on to the lip part of this post. We have lots of little traditions in our house that we all love. Some gentle but really most, not so gentle. We had a family wrestling match today. It isn't anything that is planned, it just happens. Mason is, of course, kicking his soccer ball around the house, the inside of the house, and Luke and Daddy are wrestling. Then comes tickle monster, then comes battery man (I'll explain another time), then comes pillow fights, then comes crazy Nelli doing circles around us all, then comes dog pile mommy. It really is a lot of fun and it truly is amazing how many close calls one can have until somebody gets hurt. Well, dogpile mommy and mommy got a head bonk to the mouth and a bloody lip. So big deal, my millionth bloody lip, but this is big fat bruised lip. I look like Goldie Hawn at the end of the movie The First Wives Club, just the lips, not the bod. So, on my way to the bathroom in the morning to put on my hot pink lip gloss (gotta live up the fat lip thing) please pray that I don't step on lizard head. Once again, no pictures to show for this day. Your welcome.

Shit Happens

And when it happens at the Karel Household, we call it a shitastrophe.
Boy, have I had a shitty day. Warning: if you don’t have children or have a weak stomach, do not read this post. There, I warned you.

My day started way before the kids and I drove to Sun City to pick fruit off of my Grandparents citrus trees but that is where I will begin my story. I debated about taking Nelli (our new chocolate lab) with us because we would be going straight to swimming lessons after picking fruit. I thought I would just find a shady parking spot and she could sit in the car for 30 minutes during swimming lessons. No big deal, right? Nelli had gotten plenty of exercise while I was climbing trees hunting for fruit-something I haven’t done in years and don’t plan on doing anytime soon. We met all the neighbors, Tilly, Art, all the neighborhood dogs, who takes what for their arthritis, who broke their ankle last week, and what band is playing at the Sun Bowl this week. The boys had a blast as did Nelli. So off to swimming lessons. After swimming lessons I am trying to lasso the boys into the car, just like I do every other stop we make, and Luke finally gets into the car only to start yelling “mommy, nelli pooped all over the gator!” The gator being my Navigator. There is diarrhea all over my car. The only thing I can think to do is to get the kids in their seat and get home as fast as I can. As I am driving home, texting Ben to tell him what happened, Luke starts yelling again, “mommy she is pooping again!” I look in my rear view mirror and Nelli is squatting and pooping while I am driving down the road. Of course, she is then stepping in it and well…you get the picture. I get home and back the gator into the driveway. I send Luke inside to lock the doggie door so Nelli can’t escape and drag poop through our house. You will soon understand the irony of this thought of mine. The car is still running and I take Nelli around the side gate to the back yard. I then get back in my car to reverse into the garage so I can clean up the poop in my car. Oops, my back door on my gator is still up. CRASH! Glass everywhere-dangling windshield wipers. I thought I had completely torn off my entire back door. All I can think about is how much it is going to be to replace the entire electric door. Of course, my boys are ok. Luke was crying because it scared him. A lady who was running, who I noticed before driving in because she had a cute little running skirt on blah blah blah, and she runs into my driveway and says “I’ve done that, I’ve done that. Are you ok? Can I help? I’ve done that! If this is the worst thing that happens, then this is good!” I explain to her why I was backing my car in the first place. All she did was hug me and then turned around to continue her run. Dang, I forgot to ask her where she got her cute running skirt. So, I am looking at 100000000000000000000 pieces of glass, my entire driveway and garage are literally covered in glass. I finally turn the car off, get Luke calm, take Mason inside to put down for a nap, change my clothes, grab different shoes for Luke, and start vacuuming. Luke and I vacuumed for 2 ½ hours. No joke. He kept saying “mommy the glass is in the poop now, how are we gonna attack the poop. That is going to be disgusting mommy. Mommy I told you so. Mommy I told you to stop. Mommy you didn’t listen to me.” I don’t have a clue where he as ever heard that before. So, Ben isn’t home yet and I know he has to come home, change clothes, and go to a “work” dinner. I HAVE to get my car to the car wash to have it shampooed and I know this is going to take a while. I have no ride home. So, I load the kids into the ghetto car stained with poop with no back window and wipers dangling to the side and off we go to the car wash. I tell the guy my dog made a mess and bargain down the price, of course. I then whipped out the double mountain buggy stroller and ran 3 miles home. That triathlon “training” is really coming in handy now. So we get home and I have to start juicing the oranges we picked. We do this for quite a while, long enough to make a huge sticky mess. Uncle Me (known as my second husband-no we aren't swingers)decides to drop by on his way home from work. Perfect, just in time for Ben to drop me off to pick up my car while Uncle Me stays with the boys for 10 minutes. Now we can avoid switching the car seats, cleaning off the boys, etc. We get to the car wash and my car isn’t finished. They let me know that they didn’t realize what was in the back of the car. They thought it was dirt or spilled milk. What? So, Ben drops me off at home and he goes off to his “work” dinner. Mason apparently got upset when I left and Uncle Me gave him some milk and Mason spilled it all over the floor. FYI- Mason doesn’t like milk. So, while I am catching up with Uncle Me I start to smell more poop. I finally find more diahhrea on my oriental rug. It was unbelievably disgusting. It was quite difficult to find all the spots on the rug and I can still smell it. While my butternut squash ravioli is boiling over (dinner for the boys) I clean up more poop. I strip down the boys because they are now covered in sticky juice and milk. (and the fact that they are about to eat ravioli in red sauce and why create more stains on top of the stains that are already on their clothes) In the meantime, Uncle Me has left. I would have too if I could. So, more poop cleaned up, time to feed the boys. My little human garbage disposals polish off the meal and then polish off the cake that I made myself after the triathlon. Correction- I made myself cake batter to eat then baked what was left. Off to the bath. “Do not touch anything and get in the bathtub.” More bubbles, more scrubs, another water fight, another dance party, etc. Mason busts a bean and I say “wow somebody has their motor goin.” I am getting ready to do our night time regime when I find MORE poop in the family room. I ask Luke to lock the doggy door again because I am putting Nelli outside until her stomach settles down. He informs me that the doggy door is already locked. OF COURSE IT IS! From earlier in the day with round 1 shitastrophe. Poor dog. So, I walk Nelli outside and the boys follow, naked and all. We have been letting Mason not wear a diaper after bath and he has been peeing on the toilet at night. So he informs me in his own little way that he needs to potty. I asked Luke to show Mason how to pee in the rocks. Now, some of you may not understand, but this is a HUGE moment for the Karel Household. Mason and Luke are standing their naked both peeing on the rocks just giggling at each other. So back inside where…… I find MORE poop. Not kidding. I can not make this stuff up. So, as I am cleaning that up (now I have already taken out the trash, stepped over the glass in the garage, restocked the paper towels, and ran out of cleaning supplies) I hear Luke say “somebody’s got their motor running.” I’m thinking to myself, gosh he is such a parrot. Then I hear Mason scream. I look over in the play area off of our family room and Mason is at the end of a long trail of poop foot tracks. There is a giant dump of poop by the train table, 2 soccer balls with poop on them, and poop ALL over Mason. I am talking in between his toes, down his leg, you get the point. At this point I don’t know if the poop is from the dog or him. I discover it is from Mason. He pooped on the floor. At least he pooped on the hard wood floors, he then just stepped in it and walked on my front rug. I pick him up and throw him back in the tub. Get him clean, DIAPER ON, and then go and clean up the poop. It is WAY past bedtime now and Luke is begging for books, chillos, tuck in, anything he can possible negotiate out of me. I just said mommy is closed. Mommy is done. Mommy has had a crazy day. What is weird is that I am still in a great mood. Several calls to the insurance, body shop, later, my little reverse incident isn’t going to cost us a thing. We have a $0 deductible for glass repair and they said they could fix the windshield wipers too. YEAH! OK, quick remember to call the babysitter for Saturday! Mommy needs a night off. Now my gator is still at the car wash. Ben should be home around 9 and we are going to lock the house up, say a prayer, let the kids keep sleeping, and drive 3 miles to pick it up.



Update: Just got a call from my new friend Tilly in Sun City and she found Nelli's dog tags when she was walking her little white fluffy thing she calls a dog. "It must have been when your dog escaped from the leash you had tied to the tree to chase after the golfers." My grandparents home is on a golf course. Nelli is everybodys best friend. She'll learn. Tilly called the number on Nellis tag-my husbands. My husband is now afraid to answer the phone when he sees I am calling. I don't blame him. I just called Home Depot and have a steam cleaner on hold to rent tomorrow when I will be cleaning our carpet. I am sure I'll have another story after our trip to Home Depot. The boys have to chase after all the tractors in Home Depot and then we always go and look at the "motor tools." You do know that Home Depot allows dogs. I'm seriously debating that one. My car will be fixed tomorrow between 12-5- you know I have NOTHING better to do for 5 hours than to wait for a glass for my car. Perhaps I shouldn't be driving in this state of mind anyways. For all of our benefit I have NO pictures of my escapades today. I know you are disappointed. I know when the sun rises and I can see better, I will be finding more... What can I say, shit happens.





FYI- Tilly is mailing Nellis tags back so I don't have to take the dog and two boys to Pet Smart to replace them. THANK GOODNESS!

ENOUGH about my kids...lets talk about...ME!

The End Yes, a mountain bike for a road race

Off to the bike! Get me out of this freekin pool!!
What did my mom just do? She beat EVERYONE? Wow, my mom is the coolest!
Here goes nuttin!

In honor of Ruth Mason, Rick Mason, Bob & Jan Craig, Uncle Dick Crain, Emma Wragge, Melinda Evans, and Megan Franz.

My peeps came to watch!
My good friend who came with her 3 month old baby boy Luke and nursed up until race time. She still beat me by 8 minutes! Liz, the fitness guru, and Becky the triathlon Chief- she came in 8th overall, yes overall the ENTIRE race, not just the 8 of us!

Liz and Perry's cute baby girls Avery and Allison!

On a beer chugging, vodka shots, out of my mind evening, I checked my email...and a friend of mine, Becky, had sent an email asking if anyone wanted to join her in a sprint triathlon. I really was in my PJ's being a lame dork that I am surfing the internet probably reading Perez or something. I like to think that I was out of my mind because of what I did next. After I was through laughing out loud at the thought of me competing in a triathlon I emailed her back and said "I'm in." I then went to the website and registered- AND these competitions aren't exactly cheap. I registered immediately because being the cheap ass that I am I knew I wouldn't want to waste the money. So, that pretty much meant I was locked in. WTF? I had gained 10 lbs throughout the holidays and I thought this might really help get that extra LB's off. (FYI- I gained another 5 training for this event!) This particular event was to raise money for Breast Cancer and that holds a special place in my heart for many reasons. None of which i am going to share with you now. I did wear a shirt close to my heart with all the names of people I know that have battled cancer. Some have won, some have lost, and some are currently battling cancer. Those people were recognized during this race and helped to motivate many people.

So, since January I have been "training" for the triathlon. I like to use the word "training" pretty loose. My mountain bike had seriously been hanging upside down for 9 years. I rode it twice when we live in Wisconsin and had NEVER even ridden it in AZ. I couldn't even remember if mine was the red or the green one. (obviously Ben hasn't ridden his either) I went on 4 short rides, sort of figured out the gears on my bike. I went swimming twice- one really doesn't count because I couldn't keep my swimsuit on. I guess you aren't supposed to "train" in a string bikini. What I did do is run, a lot. At least a lot for me. I built up my endurance, not necessarily my speed, just so that I could finish the race. My goal in the event was to just not drown. I could care less if they timed me or not. I didn't really even think about timing until one day talking to our "Chief" Becky. Oh well, I just hoped to cross the line.

So, I finished. I had a lot of fun. I made some new friends and got to know other friends better. I challenged myself, got a lot of laughs, and learned a few things. The best part was knowing that my efforts, money, etc. were going to a fantastic cause.

10. 8 lbs of pasta, PB&J, banana, eggs, cheese, toast, isn't necessary to eat before a sprint triathlon. Boy it was fun though. (+ a bag of hot tamales-I thought it would bring me good luck!

9. there are some age 55+ women that kicked my rear in this event- there is plenty of time to improve!

8. spandex doesn't look good on me. I spent as much time training as I did on what I was going to wear, what I needed for my transitions, and if they matched. WTF? Seriously, I need to get a life.

7. spanx don't work under spandex

6. test out your "race suit" before the race- something I learned.

5. need to increase the speed of my dog paddle

4. Bathroom management is of the utmost importance

3. swimming in spandex, then riding a mountain bike in wet spandex, then running in wet spandex, creates the most horrific chaffing in all the wrong spots-sorry folks, just keepin it real

2. "gels" are some sort of goo that athletes use to "refuel" and they are supposed to have a "higher-octane carb blend" to speed more energy to muscles. I took some 10 minutes prior to my start time and I ended up burping sour apple gel the entire race-just looking for the full triathlon experience. (one never knows if this will happen again) In my opinion, for a sprint triathlon, no gels are needed for this length of race.

1. I'm going to do it again.

You won't see me in many of the pictures. I'm a brunette now and I don't like it. Why would I want to post pics of me I don't like? I am slowly going back to blonde. In face, I've spent too much money on professional hair color during this little brunette phase of mine, that I bought a frost and tip kit today to try at home. I haven't done one in several years. I used to do it all the time-thanks mom- until the last time my hair fell out. I'm sure next year in the race as a blonde, I'll be faster. Don't ya think? I finished #287. No, I'm not going to tell you how many people were in the race. Let's just say I did really well. :)

My favorite part of this post is the music! Enjoy!

Are their lifeguards on duty?

Run Forest RUN! (going to transition to bike- yeah wet spandex!)

The Hat

This is Luke
This is Luke

This is Mason

This is Mason...don't you love "the hat?"

Studmuffins

Another day, another round of dirt. I have come to accept this, and I love it, most of the time.

Chubby paws.

I'm having a really good time with my new camera!
I think I am getting kind of good at photography.
I bet if I take 10 shots of the same thing, I can get at least 1 good one.

I do have the cutest subjects!

I knew what I was doing...

This was last Thursday afternoon when I thought it would be a good idea to pull out all the paints and make the grandparents some pretty pictures, wrap them in some cute little box, have luke write their name and his on it, maybe some hand prints or foot prints and mail it with a giant bow on top.
That happens slim and never. These pics were taken before my kitchen was splattered with paint- the color you get when you combine green, red, blue, yellow along with some snot and buggers (Luke can not keep his finger out of his nose- a phase, I know).
These pictures were taken before I was covered in this paint from head to toe.
These pictures were taken before Luke had to go potty "RIGHT NOW" and needed help unbuttoning his pants which then led to both of us leaving a trail of paint from the kitchen to the bathroom

These pictures were taken before I got really dirty and I couldn't gather any more evidence for fear of getting my beautiful new camera dirty. It's going to happen, I'm sure. We had so much fun and really, who cares, its just paint and its just a house I had just CLEANED. Sorry, Grandparents, no pictures this round. We had some beautiful body paint though!

Bada Boom Baptized!

The top pictures are of Luke when he was baptized. He wore my Great Great Grandfathers christening gown- he was so fat he ripped it-nothing that wasn't fixable. The other baby is my niece Hailey. They were baptized together in Kansas City. It was a special day together.

My best friend from college, Allison- aka aunt Alli- is Lukes God Mother. She was there to take part in the ceremony. Uncle Peter is Lukes God Father but I can't find a picture of him. I think he was sleeping when the pictures were being taken. GG, Pa Pa, MeMe, Go, aunts, uncles, cousins nad great grandparents were all there to witness.

Cute brother Matt.

Precious niece Hailey with her favorite aunt Sue Sue.

Poor Mason had brother, Mom and Dad at his baptism. We didn't exactly give the family time to come in for this occasion. Masons God Parents are E and Chance Cozby. I have known E for, well, FOREVER, since 1st grade really. Chance and Ben are great friends now and their oldest son Campbell is Lukes best friend "in the entire planet" as Luke would say. They live here in AZ but were unable to attend the event.

I have no idea where bada boom came from- it was just wandering around in my head so there you go. A couple weeks ago my sweet, precious, baby Mason was baptized. Luke was baptized as a baby with his cousing Hailey. 2nd child, took us a bit longer. Luke is wearing a white suit that my brother wore when he was in my Aunts wedding when he was 5 or so. It is a 3 piece suit and guess what? MY PARENTS HADN'T THROWN IT AWAY- I know, no surprise if you know my parents, they really don't throw much of anything away. Thanks mom and dad but NO I don't want Grandmother Normas blah blah blah. Luke looks like he hopped right out of Saturday Night Fever- pink shirt, vest and all. He looked so stinkin cute!

Mason is wearing another one of my brothers outfits from his childhood. Luke wore this too-can't remember for what but he looked precious in it too. My mom had a matching outfit for me except a skirt and bow. This is what Mason was baptized in-precious sweet baby boy! (no, he isn't a baby but really he will always be my baby)