Lizards and Lips

I originally started this "blog" to use it as a digital scrapbook for my boys. I thought it would be a great way for them to see some of our outings, how crazy their parents were, how completely over-the-top their mom is, etc. Now, I think I am using the blog more as therapy for myself. Whatever, it works, I'll take it. I titled the blog Adventures With Boys. We have had plenty of adventures good and bad but I think we have barely touched the surface with what will happen with these boys. For example, my day today.

Sunday morning, laundry started, clean sheets on the beds, scrambled eggs for breakfast, Mason slept til 7 (this is late people), Luke woke up without a leaky diaper and no bloody nose (allergies), its 70 degrees outside, and I am sitting on the back patio by the pool talking to my mom-imagine that! Yes, the GG and I are known to have fabulous communication. It's only because I have 100% morphed into my mother. I take this as a compliment, except my derier is still larger than hers but my stomach is flatter than hers. Anyways, who cares.

So I'm sitting on the back patio talking to mom about politics, stock market, housing trends, etc. You know, the usual. Nelli comes up and has something in her mouth. I slowly just glance at her and start screaming, now I am screaming and running. Mason is wandering outside somewhere with screwdrivers in his hand trying to "fix" stuff and comes running up. Yes, running with screwdrivers-OH MY! I'm learning to pick my battles. Ben and Luke are inside watching "How It's Made" on the Discovery Channel (I'm pretty sure Ben was learning more than Luke because Luke probably already understands how stuff is made-sorry honey). So, why am I screaming? Nelli has a dead lizard in her mouth. Where does she take it? Right inside the back door. It's 70 outside so every door in our house is open. I run to the side of the house like the lizard is going to get up and chase me and now my mom and I are both just screaming to each other on the phone. I now hear all 3 of my boys laughing. Then Ben and Luke yell "Mommy, did Nelli eat the head?" My mom heard what they asked and once again we are both just screaming into the phone. Quite an intellectual converesation. I'm jumping around, screaming, and hiding from... I'm not quite sure. All I can think about is how Nelli is going to puke up a lizard head in the middle of the night. I can't put her in her kennel because she has such anxiety and will "shit" all over her kennel, so looks like I will be finding a lizard head. (The dog needs some Prozac, maybe she can share with me). Hopefully I don't step on it when I stagger into the bathroom in the middle of the night. So, what's the big deal, its only a lizard? I can watch lizards, chase lizards with the boys, poke (little) lizards, etc. but when it comes to dead lizards in my dogs mouth, in my house, without a head.......see ya latah. I just say to my mom, I have 2 boys, really 3, and it is my right as a mother of 2 boys and only 2 boys to NEVER have to deal with this kind of instance. Yes, I realize I am inserting my foot in my mouth because there will be a time when Ben is gone and the boys pull pranks on dear old mommy. By the way, I can deal with birds flying into our fireplace and then into our house and having to "shoo" them out. White girl can't jump though and those birds are pretty fast.

Now I will move on to the lip part of this post. We have lots of little traditions in our house that we all love. Some gentle but really most, not so gentle. We had a family wrestling match today. It isn't anything that is planned, it just happens. Mason is, of course, kicking his soccer ball around the house, the inside of the house, and Luke and Daddy are wrestling. Then comes tickle monster, then comes battery man (I'll explain another time), then comes pillow fights, then comes crazy Nelli doing circles around us all, then comes dog pile mommy. It really is a lot of fun and it truly is amazing how many close calls one can have until somebody gets hurt. Well, dogpile mommy and mommy got a head bonk to the mouth and a bloody lip. So big deal, my millionth bloody lip, but this is big fat bruised lip. I look like Goldie Hawn at the end of the movie The First Wives Club, just the lips, not the bod. So, on my way to the bathroom in the morning to put on my hot pink lip gloss (gotta live up the fat lip thing) please pray that I don't step on lizard head. Once again, no pictures to show for this day. Your welcome.